So...it's been a while. Feeling kinda awkward, like, how do I start this? Do I just jump in? Try to give a little lead in? Really, I haven't felt like blogging even though I had much to blog about. Honestly, I haven't really felt like talking to people either. Too much going on and not enough at the same time. *Sigh*
Grambling: Mixed emotions. I read my other posts that I wrote about him when we first met. I miss that feeling I had. Now, it's just a big CRASH and BURN. I don't feel the same way about him, and I'm starting to get to the point of resenting him. I was driving, and a song came on that reminded me of HWSNBN (I really think I'm going to run into him soon, just randomly). It's funny because thinking of him made me think about all the reasons why I was hesitant to start anything with him, and they're *mostly* the same reasons why I should have let this one go. We're not on the same page, don't have the same values. I constantly feel like I'm trying to change who he is, which is not only unfair to him but tiring as hell for me. I realized that the person he is is not the person for me.
I think I need to learn the art of letting people go when it's time for them to go. I'm not sure I ever learned it. I stay involved with people way past the time when the relationship has run it's course, and it usually turns out to bite me in the ass. I think it's time to let it go, but a tiny part of me doesn't want to. It's hard to let go of someone you care about even if they're not always deserving of your caring. I guess I haven't fully gained back the sense that I lost in October.
Today, I was driving home and heard "Free Yourself." It was so funny because I haven't heard the song in forever, and I had almost forgotten the words. They were speaking today. I hear you.
Dallas: I don't know why I thought I could make a clean break. I should have known there would be some issue in that damn city that I'd have to deal with. The former apartment complex. Trying to rape me for my money. 2+ months after the fact, I still haven't gotten this shit handled, and it is pissing me the "f" off. I told my mom the other day that I hope they don't still think they're getting any more of my money. I mean, it should go without saying, but if needed I'll be happy to oblige. They are bringing out the educated bitch in me. No lie. Don't fuck with my money, and don't lie to me about fuckin with my money. We WILL have issues.
Job search: Oh yeah, I actually did graduate. It was a close call though. It almost didn't happen, which I partially attribute to said loss of my mind in October/November. I was stressed beyond belief and wanting to curse someone out almost every day. So, I'm looking for a job now. Trying to muster up the motivation to study for the NCE. I think I'm all studied out. Tired of books and ish. At the same time, I LOVE what I do. I really miss having play clients. It's so amazing to see someone start growing into their potential and knowing that I was there helping along the way. So, I'd really love a job that I can have at least one play client, but it seems like people in Houston don't really know much about play therapy. Maybe they call it something else? Still looking at teaching, too. I guess I'll see where the wind blows me. BTW, I did pass my milestone exam in October! I just need to buckle down so I can get this temp. license and print my business cards with my bright, shining glowing face with the letters behind my name (haha). Letters are good. *Off topic* Time to start being serious about getting some in front. I'm such a late bloomer.
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